One of the most memorable days of a person’s life will most often be the day he or she gets married. But leading up to that day can more often than not be filled with stress and worry. Couples spend months — if they’re lucky — planning their special day down to the very last detail and hope everything goes off without a hitch.
By LaTria Garnigan
It can become important to learn how to healthily manage that stress, while also continuing to deal with the demanding details of planning a wedding. Dr. Tequilla Hill, owner of Hill Psychotherapeutic
Services in Marietta, offers some tips to couples on managing stress and learning to enjoy the planning process, while also preparing themselves for this upcoming life change.
Hill said while there are many moving parts to creating your special day, it doesn’t have to be stressful. It all starts with your mindset. Her guidelines for maintaining your cool and sanity are:
- Determine the shared vision of your wedding preferences and work backwards
- Stay organized, utilize checklists when possible
- Create and be accountable to deadlines
- Collaboratively create a realistic budget with your partner
- Identify who are the most important people you want to share this special day with
- Seek the help of your maid of honor/best man, wedding planner, parents, or trusted loved ones as needed
- Keep clear boundaries up. Keep the opinions of others who are not involved in the planning process out of the mix.
- Stay flexible, optimistic and pragmatic in your approach to managing the tasks.
“It’s important for partners to have clear communication about the expectations and shared contributions of the planning process,” said Hill. “Gauge both parties’ level of involvement and assign tasks from there.”
Hill explained couples should also set aside times to check in about how the planning is going or any other questions or concerns. Stay proactive and offer ideas or help as needed.
When it comes to the actual marriage itself, entering in a new life partnership with someone seems overwhelming. Hill said the No. 1 rule of thumb for newlyweds is maintaining open communication about the roles and expectations of the union. Other tips include:
- Understand that conflict will occur, the key is resolving it in a peaceful, respectful and loving manner
- Learn that compromise is an art and will eventually be mastered
- Focus on both growing as a couple and individuals. A healthy marriage is two healthy halves creating a healthy whole
- The blending of two lives requires patience, grace and understanding. Eventually you two will find your flow
- A healthy marriage requires ongoing energy, time and intention
- Seek therapy. Premarital or couples counseling can be a great resource to help smooth bumps or simply enhance the marital bond.
“Across the different stages of the courting and marital process I often always stress staying connected to your partner’s changing wants and needs,” said Hill. She added as humans we are always growing, and that what we need in our relationships may change over time.
Important notes to remember, she said, are staying attuned to each other’s love language, goals and passions — central ingredients to a healthy marriage.
“Never stop learning your partner,” said Hill.
And one final note on navigating the wedding planning space, she said remember it is supposed to be about the celebration of you and your partner’s love and commitment.
Weddings are supposed to be meaningful and fun, not perfect.
“Find joy in the journey of creating your special day,” said Hill.
Hill Psychotherapeutic Services, LLC
Dr. Tequilla Hill
1640 Powers Ferry Road, Bldg. 8,
Suite 350, Marietta